Planning for retirement is not easy.  Between finances, healthcare, housing and even potential relocation, there’s a lot to consider.  Recent studies show however, that though we stress finances, we’re failing to consider something of equal importance — our marriages.

Divorce rates for those above 50 are on the rise. In 2011, the census’s American Community Survey did a deep-dive study into marriage and showed that more than 1 in 4 who said they’d divorced in the previous 12 months were 50 or older.  Though divorce rates have stabilized nationally in recent years, they have continued to increase for the 50-plus crowd. This is especially astounding because half of the current married population in the U.S. is over 50.  Experts attribute this increase in divorce to longer lives and the drastic transitions that come with retirement.

One particular challenge couples face when they leave the workforce is unifying their individual ideas of what retirement looks like. A 2013 Fidelity Investment Couples Retirement Study emphasizes that this is a big issue for couples nationwide. 

• 38% of couples disagree as to the lifestyle they expect to live.
• 36% of couples don’t agree on, or don’t know where, they plan to live.
• 32% of couples don’t agree on whether or not they will continue working.

To avoid this, communicating with your partner about what you envision ahead of time is essential.  Make sure you’re on the same page, and if you’re not, work on compromising. Discussing these expectations sooner rather than later can help you avoid troubles down the road.

Communication is also key in avoiding another common retirement pitiful. For most people, retirement marks the first time they will be spending 24/7 with their significant other. Generally, couples are used to spending at least 8 -12 hours a day apart.  So communicating about daily time expectations is also important.  In addition,  it’s healthy for both members of the relationship to know that they don't have to spend 24/7 together. It’s often a time to pursue interests that have been on the back burner.  This can mean signing up for a cooking class, or encouraging your spouse to take that all guys/girls trip they’ve been discussing for years.  Balancing your needs with your spouse’s needs can help you both maintain independence while still spending time together. 

Balancing needs is what Willard Harley, Ph.D and author of best-selling book His Needs, Her Needs, suggests on his website is the best way to combat retirement-related relationship problems.  According to Dr. Harley, the kind of relationship you adopt early on is the kind of marriage you’ll have after leaving the workforce.  His advice is to start considering your partner’s needs and balancing those ahead of time. Creating an environment that’s comfortable for both partners should be a priority — even before retiring. 

Ultimately, dedicating time before retirement to thinking about and caring for your marriage will help you long term. This way, you can avoid the normal pitfalls, and spend retirement enjoying each other’s company.